Crypto Monkey’s Christmas

Crypto Monkey’s Christmas

In our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy

As crypto markets crash around us just in time for all the festivities, we’ll start with a heartwarming Christmas story.

Some guy who made a ton of money by buying bitcoin at tuppence ha’penny is giving away millions to worthy causes like clean water and psychedelics. Announced it on Reddit (on his Linux machine while listening to K-pop and eating gherkins from the jar). 

Beginner’s Corner

Good overview of the development and drawbacks of bitcoin, and of its continued appeal. Concludes that bitcoin is, “probably most valuable in countries with oppressive regimes and unreasonable governments”.

Thing is, you get to decide what you think is “unreasonable”, so the Venezuelan middle-class have bitcoin, and so do US libertarian billionaires. 

For regular-guy Joe Netflix, with a mortgage, car and pension, there’s not much point in owning bitcoin, at least if it’s not going up in price. But for the bitcoin OGs, cryptocurrencies are a way to build a new financial (and political) system.  

Narcissism of small differences

If you’re just getting to grips with bitcoin here’s a surprise for you: there’s another currency called Bitcoin Cash. Basically, it’s Liam to bitcoin’s Noel, and launched on Coinbase this week.

Bitcoin Cash split off from bitcoin (/preserved the original’s vision) back in August. Bitcoin people think Bitcoin Cash is a dangerous fraud. Bitcoin Cash people think bitcoin is bloated and slow and expensive and doesn’t work as a currency. 

(And it turned out they were both right.)

ICO silliness

SparkleCOIN ICO have donated $55,000 worth of “SparkleCOIN”s to Snoop Dogg’s Youth Football League so he’d show up at their event and take a picture. SparkleCOIN has something to do with payment carts or something and is annoying to type. 

Snoop was deeply touched. “I appreciate and accept this kind gesture on behalf of my football league,” he said, sprinting from the building to cash out his SparkleCOINS into actual dollars. 

Ice Tizzle on the Blizzle Chizzle

The Long Island Iced Tea Company announced that they’d heard this blockchain thing was interesting so were changing their name to Long Blockchain Corp and having a think about what they could do in the blockchain space. They would still make tea though – don’t you worry about that.

And their shares went up 300%

It’s not the first company to find that vague mentions of blockchain lead to magical revaluations.  They’re not even the first drinks company…. this week. Chinese firm “SkyPeople Fruit Juice” (one for the t-shirt shop) became The Future Fintech Group and doubled its value.

Nah mate, it’s definitely not a bubble.